Christian Infertility
I sometimes wonder if dealing with infertility as a Christian is easier or harder than working through it as a non-believer. For the believer, infertility seems so contrary to God’s ideal will. You believe that our wonderful God wants the best for you – he was the one who instructed Adam and Eve back in the day to be fruitful and multiply. On the other, we see every day that bad things happen to good people.
There are accounts of couples who battled with infertility throughout the Bible. Sarah and Abram had their first child when she was 90, John the Baptist was born when Elizabeth was already very advanced in years, Rachel only had Benjamin and Joseph after many years of infertility, it was as a result of her husband’s fervent prayer that Rebekah finally became pregnant and Samson’s mother also struggled with infertility for many years.
In each case, when the couple did eventually have a child it was seen as a sign of God’s grace and blessing so it would seem logical to you, the Christian couple struggling with barrenness, that you are not worthy of God’s blessing.
This picture of God is, I think, inaccurate. when you become a believer your sins are pardoned and you cannot be ‘punished’ for them.
As a Christian, you may have queries about the morality of some of the infertility treatments. For example, some believers believe that involving a third party in the conception process, for example through using donated eggs or sperm, or by surrogacy, is sinful.
Your view on when life begins will also shape your stance on IVF for example. With IVF the doctors will usually harvest and fertilize as many eggs as they can, but may not make use of all of them and you might not like that idea. Some might be frozen to use at a later stage, but may not end up being used at all. You could decide not to harvest any more eggs than you need for each cycle of treatment if you feel that throwing away fertilized eggs is practically the same as abortion. You and your partner must pray and ask God what his will is for your situation.
Aim to use this time to become closer to your spouse rather than drifting apart while the two of you rely on God together. Friends and family members may unintentionally ask tactless questions or make silly comments and that can really hurt. Some people will hint that hidden sin is the root of your infertility. If you are worried about it then pray and ask God and he will let you know if there is anything that must change. If God doesn’t show anything to you then don’t be anxious about it.
Scripture says that Zechariah and Elizabeth were righteous people, but despite that Elizabeth was barren (Luke 1:6-7).
Others feel that we can solve every problem just by having faith but despite the fact that Sarah had very little faith she still gave birth to a son when she was 90 years old. Sometimes people really struggle to realize that we live in a world ruined by theresults of sin. Not necessarily our own individual sin, but sin in general. Disease, death, suffering and infertility were most definitely not part of his original plan, but the moment that Adam and Eve sinned in the garden, everything changed. So each day we live with the consequences of that sin – not punishment mind you, consequences. There’s a big difference.
As a believer, infertility should encourage you to take action – find out everything you can about your own condition, continue to pray for your own fertility. If nothing works and you accept not being able to bear your own babies, think about fostering or adopting with the knowledge that we are all adopted into God’s family because of his love and that he desires to set the lonely in families.
Here is Infertility Information. Here is a website with a free mini-course dedicated to Infertility.
